Saturday, September 16, 2006

unanswerable questions.... answered!

Anyone who knows me well will know that I have been pondering a certain life-changing question for many years now...

Why do men have nipples?

The other day I was wandering through the ridiculously overpriced selection of battered books in the Crown Plaza gift shop while waiting for Phil. He was shamelessly using the toilets in the lobby, instead of the public toilets on the street (that you have to pay a whole 20 cents for!) regardless of the fact that we only live a block away. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go, and when you gotta go in Asia, you REALLY gotta go!

But I digress.

While I was brousing the crappy books for sale, I stumbled upon this little beauty:

"Why do men have nipples? Hundreds of questions you'd only ask a doctor after your third martini", by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.

I shrieked in delight and promptly bought it. It is filled with all sorts of useful morsels of knowledge like:

  • Why do some folks have an "outie" belly button and some folks have an "innie"?
  • What are eye boogers?
  • Does breast milk cure warts?
  • Why does the bed spin after a long night at the bar?
  • Can you ignite a fart?
  • Why do you get all "pruney" after a long bath?
  • Can you get scared to death?
  • Is it true that left-handed people are smarter than right-handed people?
  • Why do old ladies grow beards?

....just to name a few.

But, because I know you are dying to know:

Why do men have nipples:

"We are mammals and blessed with body hair, three middle ear bones, and the ability to nourish our young with milk that females produce in modified sweat glands called mammary glands. Although females have the mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way as an embryo. During development, the embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in for a male embryo. The embryo then begins to develop all of its male characteristics. Men are thus left with nipples and also some breast tissue. Men can even get breast cancer and there are some medical conditions that can cause male breasts to enlarge."

-- "Why do men have nipples? Hundreds of questions you'd only ask a doctor after your third martini", by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.

So there you have it.


Mia said...

Hey so why do old ladies grow beards?
I never knew I wanted to know the answers to those questions until I read this post.Great now i'm gonna have to go get this

Louise said...

lol, well according to the book it has to do with the ratio of male:female hormones changing after menopause, having more male hormones in the body encourages facial hair- therefore, taking the male nipple argument into account: men start out as women, and women end up as men!

Ahh the circle of life.

PS- perhaps I should write one wacky tidbit of info from the book every week?? Yay or Nay everyone?

Mia said...

Ahhh now I know why this lady I see grocery shopping has a thicker 'stache than my dad. I had even entertained the idea that maybe she was a cross dresser out buying bagels.

PS: I say yay!