Thursday, September 21, 2006

Un-anserable questions answered, Chapter 2

Well after posting the "why do men have nipples" story, I have been getting the STRANGEST google searches here. Such as "How do I fix my outie belly button"- my answer: wear a t-shirt. You heard it here first folks!

Anyway, as promised is the next installment of medical genius from "Why do men have nipples? Hundreds of questions you'd only ask a doctor after your third martini", by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.

"Can you Catch diseases from a toilet seat?"

"Yes, you can occasionally catch something from a public toilet seat but this isn't all that common. Work, on the other hand, may be worse for your health than toilet seats. A microbiologist at the University of Arizona, Charles Gerba, found that the typical office desk harbors around four hubdred times more disease-causing bacteria than the average toilet seat."
I can remember my mother carefully laying toilet paper down over the seat of the public toilet and telling me (with a tone of thinly veiled hysteria) "Don't touch the toilet! Don't TOUCH the TOILET!!". And then she wondered why I developed a morbid fear of public toilets? (Although on the up side, I did simultaneously develope a bladder of steel)

All this time she should have been telling me not to touch the phone.


And....

"Do your nails or hair grow after you die?"

"Human nails and hair do not grow after death. The fact of the matter is that after you die, your body starts to dry out, creating the illusion that your hair and nails are still growing as the rest of you shrivels up."
So there you have it.

2 comments:

Dan said...

Ewww on the last one!

Mia said...

I mastered my hovering technique when I was around 10 years old. This pregnant teenager from a 3rd world country told me she got knocked up because she used the toilet after her brother. I was petrified to use the john in my house ( 7 uncles and a brother)for months.