12 steps….

Oh Indian Cuisine, how I love thee... and yet you continue to wreak havock on my digestive system. Why must I be drawn back to you, time and time again, with scant regard to the inevitable consequences? WHY??? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHHHYYYYYYYYYY??????????

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7PM. A CHURCH HALL IN SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA.

"Hello everyone. My name is Louise, and it has been 60 days since my last Paneer Butter Masala.

[PAUSE FOR POLITE APPLAUSE]

"60 days! Wow!"

[NERVOUS LAUGH]

"I won’t say it hasn’t been tough. These have been some of the toughest days in my life. But thanks to my willpower, and the support of those around me, it’s now 60 days and counting.

I’ve started the 12 steps program. I have admitted that I have a problem. That was the biggie. Like all of us, I was in total denial for a long, long time. I just couldn’t see what was so obvious to everyone else. I couldn’t even see how destructive my addiction, yes addiction, was to a healthy balanced diet.

But I do have a problem. Since accepting my addiction I have been able to try and rebuild other relationships I had lost. I have apologised to all the previously loved meals I had so hurtfully abandoned on the pursuit to feed my addiction. It’s not easy, and I know…"

[CHOKED EMOTION]

"…I know that some meals will never taste the same again. For a long time, the salad sandwich was dead to me. And as long as I live…"

[CRYING]

"…I will never ever know the pain that my rejection caused to the salad sandwich!"

[BRUSHING AWAY TEARS WHILE REGAINING COMPOSURE]

"Sure, there have been times when I have been desperate. They say as an addict you have a love/hate relationship with your dealer. This is true. Often at meal times, when I am at my low point, I can still clearly picture the face of the delivery boy for the Indian Kitchen Restaurant.

Yes, I’ve been desperate. Taking me away from temptation put thousands of miles between myself and my dealer. But it put no distance between myself and my addiction. I’m not proud of this, but at my lowest point I even looked up a paneer recipe on the net and then went out and bought a 2 litre bottle of full-cream milk. I was so desperate to feed my addiction that I was actually going to put this bastardised backyard version of paneer into my system!

But I came-to in a sweat, lying on the kitchen floor in a pool of spilt milk. I had hit my all-time low, and suddenly I could see myself for the monster I’d become.

I faced my demons that day. Now I that I can face myself again, I know I am strong enough to embark on a journey to regain my lost respect for non-dairy based curds. Tofu here I come!"

[CHEERS, APPLAUSE, AND GROUP HUGS]

COMMUNITY MESSAGE: If you relate to any part of this story, and you think you might have a problem, please contact your nearest Paneer-aholics Anonymous Support Group