Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Shanghaied in Shanghai

As a part-time teacher at my English language school I am not compelled to attend staff meetings. However I am starting to think that it would be a bloody good idea to attend anyway.

Two weeks ago in my absence at the weekly meeting I was "volunteered" to be the emcee at the annual school Christmas concert. This is two hours of not just introducing acts, but also running games and raffle draws.

As if this wasn't bad enough, during this week's meeting it was decided that I would not have to dance in the staff act- dancing to Mariah Carey's version of 'All I Want For Christmas is You'. No, I don't have to dance, but instead, lucky me, I get to sing. Solo.

And they fully expect me to hit the high notes.

It's a damn good thing that Shanghai has no formal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, because pretty soon dogs all over town will be rubbing their ears in the dirt in an attempt to get my shrill screams out of their poor deranged minds.

PS. In order to learn the song, I have had to download it- you have no idea how much my fingers curled in embarrassed agony before typing the words "Mariah Carey"... even now I can feel the bile rising....


Mia said...

Awww the horror the shame of it all. Man I hope Phil takes pictures! lol

LondonMisfit said...

I fully expect to see all the footage on youtube the next day!

Mignon said...

First, what mortal sin did you commit at work? Have you been stealing your coworkers lunches from the fridge? I can't imagine what would make them do that to you...

Second, two times now I've clicked on Next Blog when I was on my own blog and I was redirected to a M.C. tribute site. So either these M.C. fans are infiltrating us at an alarming rate or else I'm inexorably tied to Miss 27-slutty-octaves herself. Either way, what the hell???

Louise said...

My only crime was in my absence at such critical moments of decision-making (or duty-skiving). The other part time teacher has to do magic tricks at each table for the entire night. He's not impressed, but hell, I would TURN tricks at each table to get out of the emcee and M.C. fiasco!

Mia and LondonMisfit, I may kill Phil if he takes pictures, but I did hear that someone in the customer service staff is planning to film it anyway. It'll be on Youtube before you can say "mortified".

And yeah Mignon, I mysteriously have also come across a couple of blogger M.C. tributes in the past... it's either M.C. or J.C. (as in J. Christ). The fanaticism is equal in either sites.